Parenting can be tough at times and this is a learning experience. Though we are able to juggle profiles, cook an exotic lunch and also multi task, parenting at times can leave us in despair. If you have noticed that your toddler has suddenly become arrogant or the teenage son is not quite into conversation then it is no use lamenting about the same.
When the child is born, a parent spends most of the time along side the child but as time grows we are the ones who search for the best play school and prepare to make them independent. Being independent means exposure and openness to ideas. Though you may speak an impeccable language at home, never swear and do not watch action flicks, the child must have absorbed the same through external influence. Kids are impressionable and though we may think they are not listening, they register everything (actions and words) that goes around them.
When your child back answers you for the first time, you are in a state of shock. You may be stunned and at the same time feel anguished as to how this happened. This is also a part of growth for us as parents and for the child to decipher what is right and wrong. Being calm is important. Explain to the child several times that this is bad behavior. Play a small game of toys or draw them a story like a motion picture of a child or toy that back answers and hurts the parents.
Kids may not intentionally back answer but this can be their defense system that is beefed as they feel that following rules or heeding to requests is hampering their individuality. As the come from school, give them space to adjust with the surrounding. Let them relax and do not hurry them into cleaning and changing. Ask them how they would like their food and you will notice a smile or a grin.
When they are upset with you for not granting them permission to play or be with their friends for a longer time then explain the same and offer another point of negotiation. If they are seeking for attention then shower them with love and praises. Acknowledge good behavior. Being an assertive parent is fine but punishing the child for every small thing will make them rebellious. Bullying them will make them a bully and many times they are imitating our behavior.