Bringing up your only child

Very often, it has been noticed that the only (one) child faces certain psychological problems in the society.

Couple who plans for only one child in their family should take utmost care so that it can live confidently in and out of the house. Especially if it is a nuclear family, than the child might crave for another sibling to accompany. When the child grows up, his queries regarding this matter shouldn’t be ignored. Parents should try to convince the child the reason for keeping him or her alone. Parents normally undergo this decision for their child’s better future. Also working mothers can’t always take pains to bring up two kids, since they need to continue their career. At times, even parents do not think for a second child due to some financial or health problems. The child should be made aware of all these problems rationally.

Parents need to play multiple roles in the upbringing of their only dear ones for instance they should become their brothers and sisters, as well as their friends, whenever needed.

The child should also be trained enough to overcome queries questioned by neighbours around as to why it is alone. Parents should prepare them to answer such questions in a witty manner. At the same time parents should also communicate with other parents with more than one kid in a normal and healthy manner so that their child can follow them.

The child might feel insecured while accompanying other friends, especially those who do have their own siblings (brothers or sisters). Under such circumstances, parents should encourage the child to deal with others positively in order to avoid any kind of fear of being alone or lonely in it’s mind.

Working parents need to concentrate more on their only child, as the child might feel lonely, bore staying at home. They should look into the child’s likes and dislikes, hobbies, food, creativity as to where the child is most deviated in, and try to create such atmosphere around at home. This will keep the child busy, when the parents are out for work. HOME should seem to be Heaven for that child and not a boredom.

Normally, parents try to fulfill all their child’s wishes, even if they are hard to since it’s their only one’s. Such kind of mindset carrying that tag (only one), may spoil the child as the child comes to know that parents won’t deny any demand made, popularly known as emotional blackmail. The child should be aware of his or her limitations , as a result of which the child will not turn self-centred or pampered.

At times, even neighbours or relatives try to suggest parents to uplift their lifestyle like enrolling the child into an expensive school or buying a huge house or a luxurious car which is normally not affordable for commoners. They also pressurize them to undergo such changes since they have got only one child. This might look like underestimating parents but they should be tough enough to stick to their own decisions and ignore others. They should try and avoid any kind of inferiority complex into their minds, as a result of which their child might get affected.

Grand parents are ought to get more attached to their one and only one grand child, especially if they do have only one son or daughter of theirs !!!! Even the child will get more comfortable with them and can enjoy a wonderful bonding. The only child should be taken to it’s cousins and relatives very often so as to reduce that little feeling of being alone in its mind. Parents should accompany their child to all their parties, social gatherings, ceremonies, music concerts if possible, ceremonies etc. so that the child will get accustomed to socialize with strangers also.

Spending ample amount of time on watching televisions or playing computer games should be restricted as he or she could turn more mechanical at young age and get addicted towards them as well. Rather the child should be taken up for some sport activity like gymnastics, aerobics, yoga even if interested which in turn will recreate energy and confidence into them. Exposure to music of any kind, dance or even fine arts (painting, drawing, craft etc.) can help them become very creative. They might get along with more people or friends indeed. Sharing attitude has to be inculcated , inspite of being the only child. This will help the child to become selfless and lesser chance of being possessive.

Parents should not forget to spend time (not always creative) as more as possible in order to share a healthy bonding between them.

Although, upbringing of an only child is not a child’s play, parents can make them possible with the right attitude of positive parenting. One should step into the child’s shoes to understand it better !!! ~ Author Sonali Jog


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