Teenage love is growing rampantly in India. This is because of the strong influences of the western culture and new ways of the modern youth of the country. Most of the school students think that they are in love. They believe that they are made for each other and this love takes on heights when it starts affecting their studies and disturbs their life. Irrespective of what parents think, teens want to rebel at every step and think that their parents are their biggest enemies. At such times, neither forceful actions work nor kind words of advice work! So what should parents do when they realize that their teen is in ‘love’?
Teens at this stage do not want to see the harsh realities of life. They want to live in their own dreamy world where everything is glittering golden. One thing that parents should accept is that it is very natural for teens at this age to get attracted to the opposite sex. Tender hearts want to believe that their actual infatuation is their true love of the life and add to this is the dreamy image that teens have in their mind with the Bollywood love stories that they have grown up to which re-instill stereotypical perceptions in them.
Sometimes, I have seen that it is difficult for parents to understand these things. They cannot be patent and often undertake measures like locking up the child in the room, spanking them, not giving them food, threatening their friends of the opposite sex not to talk to their son/daughter etc. All this should be strictly avoided.
Tell your child to be patient and keep telling them repeatedly not to take any actions until they grow up. Tell them that they are definitely independent to choose their partners but also throw light upon the kind of responsibilities one has to deal with. Tell them to give time to their relationship and see if it can withstand the test of time.
Be practical in your arguments. If you simply tell your daughter that you are not suppose to talk to the guy she loves. There is no doubt in guessing that she is going to revolt. One question that will force her to do this is ‘why?’ As a parent it is important that you point out the practical differences in the lifestyle, and in other areas. Tell him or her that they may not be able to cope with situations as both have different outlook and way of life.
Stress on importance of financial security and how they shouldn’t just build castles in air. Also let them know that you are not their enemy but only their friend and that they can come and share with you anything under the sun.
All said and done, let’s face it. Infatuation is a part and a parcel of every teenager’s life and you really shouldn’t over protect your child. If it is natural, let it happen but remember to keep the bonding and communication open and keep your child cautious all the time.