We moms constantly push ourselves a little further to be the best moms to our kids. In the journey of being that super mom who is there for the kid’s every need, we forget the most important element of our life – ourselves. If we don’t intend to do good to ourselves how can we do good to our kids?
Have you ever been through a phase where you are irritated, agitated at the things that don’t matter to you? When you come back from the work and your kid wants your attention and you are lacking in energy, to even smile at her? You don’t remember when was it last you had a romantic dinner with your partner? the If answer to any or all of this is yes, I am sure you are taking it too hard on you to be a super mom.
You must be surprised how anger, agitation and ignorance about your happiness can be a sign of a super mom. But yes, it is. In the rush to be one, when you put a toll on yourself, sooner or later these consequences will pop up. These are actually the side effects that occur when we constantly strive to achieve things compromising ourselves.
I am not ashamed telling my small baby, when I am tired and can’t bow further to her demands. Kids are high on energy compared to we adults. They are demanding at times, where they want you to carry them, or play with them for hours. If you feel low on your energy levels instead of forcing yourself to stretch a little and fulfil their demands, it’s good to be faithful to you and deny. Your kid might not like to hear a “NO” from you at that moment but you need to make your kid understand that mother too is a human like him and has her own set of limitations. If you look at the broader perspective of it, you will understand how good a foundation you have laid. It will make your child know that one has to be considerate, kind and caring. At the same time, you will feel relaxed and will save your child from the wrath of your anger.
The guilt factor that burdens every mother, no matter be it a working mom or stay at home, is another consequence of the race we run to be a super mom. When we look around and find other mothers sharing their stories of upbringing we build a mental pressure to excel in the field and be superior to them. This might not be a conscious attempt but it’s an involuntary action taken by our sub conscious who wants us to be the best. If you feel guilty about the messy house, or having a “ME time” at the spa, it’s time to rethink.
Some people might debate that super moms are those who never scold their children or yell at them. I too agree that as a parent (without any adjectives associated), we must refrain ourselves to the best possible extent from yelling or screaming at our kids. But sometimes it becomes utterly important. As long as you are scolding your kid for a right thing and in a right manner, it will help shape their future and they will learn the life’s important lessons from you. And for that you just have to be true to “YOURSELF” and not bow to any pressures.
We must remember that as the children will grow they will build their own social circle and would demand space. It’s no surprise that sometimes you will have to bear their agony and rejection. This must be taken in a right stride. You must not associate any of this to you not being a super mom to them. As long as you have imbibed the right values in them you must be proud as parents and stop retrospection of your parenting style.
Believe me motherhood is an on job training field where every day we evolve with our kids. Let’s not make it hard by adding adjectives to it. Let’s just be a mom to them who inspires them to be better individuals and make this earth more liveable!